Lisped a limp-wristed cowboy named Fay, 
               "It's a hell of a place to be gay! 
                    I must, on these prairies, 
                    Due to a shortage of fairies, 
               With the deer and the antelope play!" 

On May Day the girls of Penzance, 
               Being bored by the lack of romance, 
                    Joined the workers' parade 
                    With this banner displayed: 
               "What the Pants of Penzance Need is Ants." 
                                                 

                    We once had a clerk named Pyle
                            
                    Who had an affair with our file.
                            'Twas strewn askew
                            From K through Q,
                            
                    And the P's were all sticky and vile.
                            

I love you, You love me,
Homosexuality,
People say that we're just friends,
But we are really Lesbians.

  

               There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck.