A stingy old man of St. Giles 
               Saved his shillings with miserly wiles. 
                    Just to save a few bob 
                    He would wipe with a cob, 
               And that way he got piles and piles! 

            There was a young student of art 
            Who made a strange anatomical chart: 
                In place of the chest 
                A grease spot on the vest, 
            And in place of the asshole a fart. 

               There was a young girl in Berlin 
               Who ecked out a living through sin. 
                    She didn't mind fucking, 
                    But much preferred sucking, 
               And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.

Said an old lady called Mary Tabott,
"I wish I had teeth in my twat.
For just think" said she,
"how nice it would be
To keep all the pricks that I got." 

There once was a man of Sag Harbor 
            Who used to go with a fag barber. 
                He gave some auditions 
                In many positions, 
            And now he plays flute with Jan Garber.