There was a young lady whose joys 
               Were achieved with incomparable poise. 
                    She could have an orgasm 
                    With never a spasm--- 
               She could fart without making a noise. 

There was a young lady named White 
            Found herself in a terrible plight: 
                A mucker named Tucker 
                Had struck her, the fucker--- 
            The bugger, the bastard, the shite! 

There once was a man from New Boston, 
            Who bought a new sportscar--an Austin; 
                There was room for his ass, 
                And a gallon of gas, 
            And his balls hung out till he lost 'em. 

There was an announcer named Herschel 
               Whose habits became controversial, 
                    Because when out wooing 
                    Whatever he was doing 
               At ten he'd insert his commercial. 

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.