There was a young lady named Sue 
            Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw. 
                But one leads to the other, 
                And now she's a mother--- 
            Let this be a lesson to you. 

There was a young lady named Mabel
Who said, "I don't thing I'm able;
But I'm willing to try.
So where shall I lie -
On the bed, on the floor or the table ?"

               A passionate red-headed girl, 
               When you kissed her, her senses would whirl, 
                    And her twat would get wet 
                    And would wiggle and fret, 
               And her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl. 

                               Ode to Alcohol
     
   
                        Starkle, starkle, little twink,
                        Who the hell you are I think,
                        I'm not under what they call
                        The alcofluence of incohol.
                        I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
                        I'm just a little slort of sheep.
                        Tee martoonis make a guy
                        Fool so feelish, don't know why
                        Rally don't know who's me yet
                        The drunker I stay the longer I get
                        So just one more to full my cup,
                        I've all day sober to Sunday up.
  

There once was a fellow named Clyde,
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side.