A Biblical party called Ham 
               Cried, "Cuss it, I don't give a damn! 
                    My father's yard measure 
                    I view with great pleasure, 
               Such a bloody great battering ram!" 

Said an old taxidermist in Burrell, 
               As he skillfully mounted a squirrel, 
                    "This excess of tail is 
                    Obstructive to phallus; 
               One's much better off with a girl." 

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex live was strangely amiss.
For even with Venus
His recalcitrant penis
Would seldom do better than t
                            h
                            i
                            s
                            .

NET FRUSTRATION

I've been sat here hours,
my eyes are feeling sore,
I'm staying up all night,
because I'm looking to score.

The Net causes frustration,
because I can't get sex for free,
I search and search for hours,
but I need a credit card to see.

I bought myself a web cam,
so I can chat and play,
but I don't see any ladies,
so I wish that I was gay.

Is there anyone out there,
who is as lonely as me?
staring at my screen,
I wish that I could see

Hang on - who is this?
It is a female figure,
she looks like my Grandma,
but my Grandma is slimmer.

She says her name is Helga,
so I ask about the weather,
but she thinks I'm a bore,
because I'm not into leather.

I start to look for more,
by now, I know the score,
but Sarah B won't answer
and Lisa X is busy.

But wait - I must be dreaming,
I see a blonde lady,
I smile at her picture
and she smiles back at me.

She speaks, but I can't hear,
She hears but now can't see,
I think my PC's broken,
Why does this happen to me?

She is looking puzzled
and I can't seem to fix it
but I can't wait to start,
I guess I'll have to risk it.

I think I am in love,
I hope she feels the same,
Oh, damn my PC's crashed !
But boy, how I just came !


Sent by ANON

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.