A cowhand way out in Seattle 
            Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. 
                He said, "No, I can't fuck 
                A lamb or a duck, 
            But golly! it just fits the cattle." 

There was a young girl named Prentice
Who had an affair with her dentist.
He used anathesia
Which made things quite easier
And diddled her non compos mentis. 

There was a young man of Adair 
               Who thought he would diddle a mare. 
                    He climbed up a ladder 
                    And jolly well had her, 
               With his backside a-wave in the air. 

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that
sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Dr. Seuss Meets Fornigate
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I am Starr. Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?

I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join -- even for fun,
The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
So stow your feathers and your tar,
I did not do her Starr you are!

Did you smile?
Did you Flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
And did you tell the girl to lie,
When called upon to testify?

That is it; you've gone too far!
I do not like you Starr you are!
I will not answer any more!
In fact, I think I'll start a war!
The public's easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on Iraq!