Q. What does it mean when two lesbians make love?

A. It doesn't mean dick.

The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances 
on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper 
manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and 
climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a 
hint of a smile." "Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good, 
darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind as to please 
pass the pussy."

A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how
to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store,
walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over
there and that accordion." The store clerk looks at him a bit funny,
and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got
to stay".

Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf 
of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.

Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good
opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."

He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that 
you have the Staff of Life in one hand.  What do you have in the 
other?"

Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."

   Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't
   I need you to whip it out by 5:00!
   Mind if I use your laptop?
   Put this in my box before you leave.
   I want it on my desk now!
   Hmm.. I think I'm out of fluid.
   My equipment's so old, it takes forever to finish!
   It's an entry level position.
   When do you think you'll be getting off today?
   It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits back!