A young couple were married and celebrated their first night
together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all
night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the
bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower.
He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When
she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing
his body for the first time to his bride.

Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped
and stared and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small
part of his anatomy.

He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's
what we had so much fun with last night."

And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?" 

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   A man visits his doctor.
   
   "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my balls
   has turned blue."
   
   The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would
   die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
   
   "Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such
   a thing to me?"
   
   "Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient
   had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the
   operation, he came back.
   
   "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue
   too."
   
   Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other
   testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant.
   "Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to
   agree to the operation.
   
   But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the
   doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now
   completely blue."
   
   After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc gives him the
   bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has to go.
   
   Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "You really want to
   die?", asked the doctor.
   
   "But... how do I pee?"
   
   "We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
   
   So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation, the
   unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is very angry.
   
   "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue."
   
   "What?"
   
   "Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"
   
   So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and
   says, "Hmmmm, I think its the jeans......"
   

A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt.
"Reach up there and find out."
She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's 
gruesome!"
"Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand back
up there, it'll grow some more!"

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big
Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. 
 
"My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood. 

The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red
Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree
stump. 
 
"My what big ears you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood. 

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. Some distance further down the
track Little Red Riding Hood again encounters the Big Bad Wolf, this time
crouched behind a road sign. 

"My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf", taunts Little Red Riding Hood. 

With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you fuck off,
I'm trying to take a shit !"