What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Is this really your third marriage? 

     Sure is. 

What happened to your first two wives? 

     They died.

How did your first wife die? 

     She ate some poisonous mushrooms.

What about your second wife? 

     She died from a severe skull fracture.

How did she get a skull fracture? 

     She wouldn't eat the mushrooms.

Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
            A: Who cares?

Why are girls like pianos?

When they're not upright, they're grand...

Two men are meeting on the street.
"It was very cold this morning."
"How cold was it?"
I do not no exactly, but I saw a lawyer
with his hands in his own pockets."