A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of the
world's tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cable
snaps and the elevator starts plummeting to the ground. 
The emergency brakes don't work, the emergency phone
doesn't work, and they both begin to panic. 
The woman screams "We're going to die!", rips of all her
clothes, throws herself on the floor and says to the man
"make me feel like a woman again!" 
So, he pulls off his jacket, throws it on the floor, and
says "pick that up, bitch." 

Q:  What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
    woke that morning?
A:  He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:  And why did that upset you?
A:  My name is Susan.

What is New Jersey's state bird?


                    The common House Fly.

The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, 

and the Lamaze class was in full swing.  The instructor was

teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with 

informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at 

this stage of the plan.  



The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for 

you.  Walking is especially beneficial.  And, gentlemen, it

wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your

partner!"



The room really got quiet.



Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.



"Yes," replied the teacher.



"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Sent by Katie-Anne 

The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor 
asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked 
when was the last time the general had sex.
'Oh,' he mused, 'It was 1945.'
'Isn't that a long time to go without sex?' the doctor asked.
'I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13.'