A man comes home from work one day and he says to his 
wife: "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what 
happened!  She's got a red and white bra. You know, these 
are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not 
a big deal but it feels good."

The next day when they come home his wife asks, "How was 
your day?"

The man says: "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and 
white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it 
really feels good!"

The third day they meet at home after work and now the man 
asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, 
honey?"

She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss 
today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's 
not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Hehe...it doen't matter, it's not going to come anyway!


Sent by Melissa

A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a 
lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You 
promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Trying
his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take 
it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"

Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer? 

A fuckin know-it-all!