How do you re-sleeve a prostitue? 

     - Put a leg of ham up her snatch and pull the bone out. 

why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

breasts don't have eyes

The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly 
ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and 
forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. "Colonel!" he 
spat out. "Yes, general!" the colonel quavered. "Your troops, your 
troops," stormed the general. "They look very nice, they stand very nice, 
but they stink, man, they stink! Can't you get them to change their 
underwear?"
He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. "The general, 
yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with 
Giovanni..." 

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She
asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- something
unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "Happy
Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry."

The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his 
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that 
such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men 
were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here 
lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the 
tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"