I woke up a little early the other day 
and decided to go take a shower. 
My wife woke up and said rather lustily, 
"Honey, are you in a hurry to get to work?"  
"No, not really." 
"Then will you scub the shower before 
you get in it?" 

Sent by Michael

A mother in Pittsburgh tells of having dinner with her little son and
daughter.  It had been a long, trying day at home, and her husband was
still at the office.  Both children were fussy and didn't want to eat,
and her patience had reached it's limit.  She looked up and sighed, "Oh,
God, help me with these children."  Immediately her four-year-old
daughter bowed her head and was silent.  The mother was delighted,
thinking the girl was asking God to help her be good.  But then the girl
looked up at her and said, "I just asked Him not to help you."

from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity:  The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke

Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife good-bye 
when they leave the house?

Of these same men 90% will kiss their house good-bye when 
their wife leaves.