I was shopping and saw the Hi-C candy canes. I
thought they'd taste good so I looked at the flavors."  The box
said there were four:  Cherry, Orange, Lemon, and Green.
Green???

I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate 
after everyone boarded.   The flight attendant said over the 
intercom, "We're sorry for the delay.  The machine that normally 
rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so we're having to 
do it by hand.   We should be finished and on our way shortly."

When Linda was moving out of her place, she'd found a bag of 
marijuana seeds in the dresser drawer.  She tossed 'em out 
into the raised vegetable beds.  "A few months later, a friend 
called me and told me that my ex had been busted by the cops 
for growing pot in the back yard!"