Overheard
"She's the kind of girl you'd like to bring home to mother - If
you could trust your father."

This story occurred on Melbourne radio some time ago. One of the FM 
stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three 
personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three 
questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas 
holiday. Last week the competition went like this: 

Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? 
Brian:Yeah, sure. 
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? 
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. 
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ? 
Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. 
Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? 
Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. 
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! 
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. 
Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter).
Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? 
Brian: Yeah, alright. 

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? 
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. 
Presenter: (Explains competition again)
We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. 
Sharelle: Hi Brian. 
Brian: Hi Sharelle. 
Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions 
we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to 
Bali. 
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. 
Sharelle: O.K. 
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. 
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. 
Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for 
Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. 
Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. 
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. 
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. 
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway..
just tell em. 
Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass!

Radio Silence 

Ad.

One of the most effective ways of sharing the feeling of God's daily
presence with the family is to have the children ask the blessing for
the evening meal.  But, of course, many families don't have this custom,
which accounts for the puzzlement of a little boy who went to dinner
with his parents at the home of a very elderly gentleman.  After
watching the old man bow his head and speak in hushed tones, the boy
asked his mother, "What did Mr. Bryan say to his plate?"

from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity:  The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke