IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor
call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: Too many deer were hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del,6)

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might
get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
(Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's
something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for
me."  (Bart, 9)