There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman
                  - before marriage and after marriage.

"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow,
and when I woke up the pillow was gone." -- Tommy Cooper 

Unknown: 
     "Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime
and too sleepy to worry at night."

The mass of men lead lives of quiet masturbation.

     -Thoreau 

"I've even seen adverts for an Australian beer called 'Castlemaine F*ck'. At
 least, I assume that's what it's called - the hoarding adverts say things like
 'Australians wouldn't give a XXXX for anything else' and so on. I wonder how
 anyone brings themselves to order such a thing. ;-)"
                        -- Jo Walton, in rec.arts.sf.written (found in
                                alt.humor.best-of-usenet)