Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big
       crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and
       flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in.

"Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them 
almost anything"
--HERB GARDNER

"... doing what men do normally... bonding... endlessly congratulating each
 other... and wandering around in small groups looking for something to
 break..."
                        -- Robin Williams, World Series Debating,
                           "That there is life beyond Earth"

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel
like getting married, they send over a lady in a
housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. 

                                   -- Dick Martin

Beifeld's Principle:
   The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and
   receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when
   he is already in the company of:
      (1) a date,
      (2) his wife,
      (3) a better looking and richer male friend.