Any man who thinks marriage is a 50/50 proposition proves that:
   Either he knows nothing at all about percentages, (or)
   he's got an awful lot to learn about both women and marriage.

"To what do you attribute your old age?"
"The fact that I was born a long time ago."

My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later 
I can ask him what he meant. 

"... doing what men do normally... bonding... endlessly congratulating each
 other... and wandering around in small groups looking for something to
 break..."
                        -- Robin Williams, World Series Debating,
                           "That there is life beyond Earth"

"I was _everyone's_ drinking partner."
                        -- Karen