Main cause of death for hummingbirds:  Crashing ass-first into trees.

"The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for
punching out another woman in a bar fight...Quite
frankly, I think it's refreshing to finally find
one beauty pageant winner who is against world peace." 

    - Jay Leno 

I know a mother-in-law who sleeps in her spectacles, the better to see her 
son-in-law suffer in here dreams. 
       - Attributed to Ernest Coquelin 

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts
   when they try to decide which one.

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem,
       it is generally employed only by small children and large
       nations." -- David Friedman