There is a professor named Martin 
                                        From whom I'm about to be partin', 
                                                      And on my way out, 
                                                      He may here me shout, 
                                        "It's your face I'd sure like to fart in." 

There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is. 

There was a young fellow named Harry, 
            Had a joint that was long, huge and scary. 
                He pressed it on a virgin 
                Who, without any urgin', 
            Immediately spread like a fairy. 

There was a young man of Natal 
Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. 
Said she, "You're a sluggard!" 
Said he, "You be buggered! 
I like to fuck slow, and I shall." 

   Here I sit
   What a caper
   I have to shit
   But I'm out of paper