There once was a girl from Anheuser, 
               Who said no man could suprise her, 
                    But Pabst took a chance, 
                    Found a Schlitz down her pants, 
               And now he is sadder Budweiser. 

There was an old sculptor named Phidias 
            Whose knowledge of art was invidious. 
                He carved Aphrodite 
                Without any nightie--- 
            Which startled the purely fastidious. 

A sweet young strip-dancer named Jane
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it,
She said, "I abhor it,
But my cunt juice would spatter like rain."

               An explorer whose habits were blunt 
               Once flavored some cannibal cunt. 
                    The asshole was shitty, 
                    And---more was the pity--- 
               It oozed from the rear to the front. 

There once was a gangster named Brown,
The wiliest bastard in town.
He was caught by the G-men
Shooting his semen
Where the cops would all slip and fall down.