There was an old spinster of Tyre 
            Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!" 
                So a fireman was found, 
                Brought his engine around, 
            And extinguished her burning desire. 

There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

To quote, or not to quote;
That is the question.
Whether 'tis cluefuller on the Net to re-post
The tos and fros of diverse opinions,
Or to take arms against such attributions,
And, by excision, end them. 
                             To trim, to snip:
No more, and by a snip to say we end
The widows and the thousand orphaned words
That posts are heir to,  'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished.
                        To trim, to snip.
To snip, perchance too much. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that joyous chop the sense we lose
When we have taken out the fluff and dross
Must give us pause. 
                     There's the factor
That makes calamity of so long threads.
For who would bear the tos and fros of chat,
Th' cascader's screed, the geek's anality,
The pain of misplacéd tags, the reeking trolls,
The cliquiness of in-jokes, and the flames
That studied satire draws from clueless fools,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a mere bobbit?
                     Who would cudgel brains
To write a piece, witty and thoughtful too,
But that the hope of making people laugh,
That blesséd gift of humour from whose touch
No traveller is safe, spurs on the soul,
And makes us rather bear those ills we read
Than carve them up,and mayhap lose the joke?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And Usenet posters of great sense and content
In this confusion quote more than they should,
And lose the name of Clueful.
                               Read you, now,
The fair Emilia! [1]  Nymph, in thy reminders
Be all my posts remembered.

               There was an old scholar named Nick 
               Who wrote Latin and Greek with his prick. 
                    He peed a paean 
                    In the snow by the john 
               In script more than three inches thick. 

               There was a young girl from Peru 
               Who badly wanted to screw. 
                    She tried a broom-handle 
                    And the end of a candle, 
               But threw them away for a Jew.