There was a young man of Loch Leven
                            
                    Who went for a walk about seven.
                            He fell into a pit
                            That was brimful of shit,
                            
                    And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
                            

There was a young girl named Regina
Who called in a water diviner
To play a slick trick
With his prick as a stick
To help locate her vagina. 

                    There was a young man of Loch Leven
                            
                    Who went for a walk about seven.
                            He fell into a pit
                            That was brimful of shit,
                            
                    And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
                            

Said a girl from Staraya Russa,
Whom the war had made looser and looser,
"Yes, I'm wormin' a German,
A vermin named Hermann,
But his dink is a lollapalooza!"

            Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester, 
            She obliges all who accost her. 
                She welcomes the prick 
                Of Tom, Harry, or Dick, 
            Or Baldwin, or even Lord Astor.