If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on,
does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?

   An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old
   girls house. One
   day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting
   the girl. He holds up
   the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys game,
   and only boys can have a
   football!". The little girl runs into the house and cries to her
   mother, "I want a football!"
   Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one.
   The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on
   his bike. She holds up
   the football, "Nah Nah Nah Nah". The little boy angryly points to his
   bike and says, "Oh
   yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you
   can't have one!" She
   runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys
   bike.
   The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to
   his most private of
   parts says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you
   one!!!". The next
   day he walks by and asks her, "Well, I guess I showed you!" to which
   she promptly pulls
   up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me
   that as long as I have
   one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!
   

The Answer: A Cockrobin.
The Question: What are you putting in my mouth, Batman?

Well the King's daughter was into her mid twenties,
and the king didn't want his princess to be an old maid.
The princess wasn't the most beautiful of women, and
wasn't having any luck finding a suitable husband. The
King finally decided to take matters into his own hand.

He had flyers printed up and posted all over the kingdom,
"who so ever wishes to marry the princess should appear at the
castle at noon, the following Sunday."

Only three suitors arrived at the castle. The king decided
to have a test to determine who would get his daughter's hand.
Each suitor would have to climb the castle wall, swim the moat,
and then have sex with one of the castle's cows. 

The first suitor didn't even make it over the wall.
The second suitor made it over the wall, but couldn't swim the moat.
The third suitor, climbed the wall, swam the moat, fucked the cow,
and wasn't even tired.
The king went up to him, and said "Congratulations, you are the only
one worthy enough to marry my daughter."
And the suitor replied, "Forget your daughter, I want your cow!" 

Tombstone Epitaph:

Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.