There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man for
a soldier and propositioned him. 
The Salvation Army gent said, "Ma'am, you may be forgiven, 
as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you 
familiar with the concept of 'original sin'?"
The hooker replied, "Well, maybe and maybe not. But if
it's "really" original, it'll cost you an extra $20."

Two nuns are riding a bike down a road and the first
nun says, "I`ve never come this way before!" and the
second nun says, "Oh, it must be the cobblestone!"

"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk.
   "Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this
   way?"
   "If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the
   batteries."

Stick your tongue out.
Move it up and down.
Relax.
Now move it left and right.
Well done! You have now completed Christopher Reeves workout video.

The patient came into the doctor's office, suffering from amnesia.
The doctor asked, "Have you ever had it before?"