Beginning next year, Santa Clara County's jails will ban 
cigarettes, stop handing out sugar and begin charging for 
coffee. Prison officials are also contemplating a complete end 
to bed turn-down / chocolate mint service and expect to slash 
the concierge's hours in half.

My friend Janet, who likes stealing food from me, one day became obsessed 
with my pack of Nerds (a candy).
I asked her, "Why do you keep on taking my Nerds?!"
She looked me in the eye and she said, "I like nerds."
And I was thinking, is that supposed to mean something!?

Sent by Christina

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced
with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use
lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but
after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the
mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She
called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the
custodian.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major
problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To
demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the
custodian to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and
then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.