My wife used to have the habit of disbelieving something with 
the phrase "my ass!"  She would say "Four hundred dollars, 
my ass!" or "30 minutes late, my ass!"  One day a friend of 
mine and I were having a conversation, which she was listening 
to, and I said something like "...so it would be easy to 
penetrate.."  She chimed in... "Penetrate my ass!"  My friend 
and I laughed so long and hard we forgot what we were even 
talking about!  Needless to say, she doesn't say "my ass!" any 
more.

Homossassa, FL.
A man went into a hardware store to apply for a job. After completing his 
application he then went to the section of the store that sold guns. He 
asked to see a couple guns. The attendent left for a moment and the guy 
stole the guns. Not only was he video-taped, the police used the address 
on his application to go to his house and arrest him.

Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis
with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin,
Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested
a game of Russian roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol to
Ken's head instead of a revolver.