Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having
a last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their
health. However, to compensate for this, condemned men will
instead be permitted to chew a stick of celery.

Still, there are some things a big company can do that
a small band of programmers could never hope to accomplish.
This was best shown to me this week by reader
Brian P. McLean, who points out that according to his
Microsoft Outlook 97 scheduling/datebook application,
Thanksgiving falls this year on Wednesday, November 26.

Thanksgiving has always fallen on Thursday before. Wednesday
may be an improvement. I don't know. 

    - Robert X. Cringely, from his "I, Cringely" column (November 7, 1997) 

Some real headlines

"Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years"
"Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Deer Kill 17,000"
"Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"