There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry.

Pad, please!

An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as
Best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came
Back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.

 people were stricken with salmonella poisoning after 
drinking unpasteurized orange juice at Disney World. Disney 
officials admit the mistake, but downplay the sickness, pointing 
out that "it's a small hurl after all."