According to police in Junction City, Kan., David Bell, 30, just released 
from jail for car theft, walked out the door and stole another car to get 
home.

A sign in a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the
vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing
generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked
the manager what had happened. He told me that the
driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in
the back to make a sandwich.