Only in Merry Olde England

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat
and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why
he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming
Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read
"Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when
she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick
Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when
on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read
"Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident." 

VEGETARIAN

Driving along, with my 7-year-old daughter in the front seat.  She says,
"Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a vegetarian."

I reply, "A what?"

"You know, the doctor that takes care of animals."

Don Stevens 
ALPHA Mailing List 

Tycho Brahe:

An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking
research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.

How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time

In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet table
before the meal was over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had a bladder
condition -- but failed to relieve himself before the banquet started. He
made matters worse by drinking too much at dinner, and was too polite to
ask to be excused. His bladder finally burst, killing him slowly and
painfully over the next 11 days.