"Despite it's clever disguise the aperture to the right is not actually a
 window, but is a fire exit. _So_ if you want it open, please light this
 waste-paper bin so we aren't breaking the law, and the fire brigade will open
 it for you."
                        -- Paul Gardner-Stephen

"A girl and a boy bump into each other - surely an accident.
 A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops - surely another accident.
 But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid - _that had to mean something_."
                        -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"

"My wife just got pregnant ... She took seriously what was poked at her in fun!" 

"Eddie Moto, Hunchback of Midvale Community College. In charge of dismissal
 bell."
                        -- The Far Side

"So NT owners, don't worry too much - you may be able to crash your own
 machine, but that's probably nothing new."
                        -- Mark Rejhon