War is just another government program. - Joseph Sobran
"Always behave like a duck; keep calm and unruffled on the surface But paddle like the devil underneath."
"... beyond a shadow of a doubt... who has seen doubt cast a shadow? Bull elephant seals cast shadows... beyond the shadow of a bull elephant seal..." -- Flacco, DAAS Kapital
"O mysterious, wondrous and downright amazing Oracle: How come we never see baby pigeons?" "You do, but you only see them before they go into their cocoons and grow wings. Baby pigeons are usually called 'squirrels'." -- Generic Supplicant, The Internet Oracle
"How tall are you?" "Six foot seven." "Let's forget about the six feet and talk about the seven inches." - Mae West
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