As is well known, an elk that is shot within fifteen feet
of your hunting vehicle will still pull himself together
enough to gallop to the very bottom of the steepest canyon
within five miles. 

     - Patrick F. McManus 

"Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's Beautiful."
                        -- Unknown, Principia Discordia

I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for
   the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers and even
   sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical
   deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress
   balls.
   -- Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)

A good day is when you wake up without a chalk outline around your body.

"Any attempt to brew coffee with a teapot should result in the error code
 "418 I'm a teapot". The resulting entity body MAY be short and stout."

-- HTCPCP Spec, RFC 2324