"I hate intellectual discussion. When I hear the words `phenomenology' or
`structuralism', I reach for my buck knife."

                                                 --Edward Abbey

* If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a damn
       fool.

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways 
out of this airplane..."

Basically, I think there is some device the telco puts on the phone that
 ensures that whoever is on the other end of a service call is always
 a drooling moron with the IQ of a potted plant."
                        -- The alt.sysadmin.recovery FAQ

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.
       Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone.
       "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."