There was a young fellow named Simon 
            Who tried to discover a hymen, 
                But he found every girl 
                Had relinquished her pearl 
            In exchange for a solitaire diamond. 

               There was a young lady named Ransom 
               Who was rogered three times in a hansom. 
                    When she cried out for more 
                    A voice from the floor 
               Said, "My name is Simpson, not Sampson!" 

Part 3 of 12
   
                    This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
                            
                    His fart for no money would barter.
                            He could roar from his rear
                            Any scene from Shakespeare,
                            
                    Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.
                            

The Best!!

A weary old lecher named Blott
Took a luscious young blonde on his yacht.
    Too lazy to rape her,
     He made darts out of paper,
Which he leisurely tossed at her twat.

It was under the old apple tree 
               That she first showed it to me. 
                    It was ever so hot, 
                    It was shaped like a slot, 
               But it looked like a subway to me. 

               With a twinlke so full in her eye, 
               She craftily mangled my fly. 
                    Out popped a tool 
                    That was long as a rule 
               And she sank to her knees with a sigh. 

               She proceeded to lube up my tool 
               With lots of her natural drool. 
                    My knees gave a shake, 
                    My breath hard to make, 
               And my tool throbbed away like a fool. 

               With a magnificent shake of her head, 
               She threw me down onto the bed. 
                    The apples so round, 
                    The leaves on the ground 
               Made my tool like a sail on the Med. 

               The subway engulfed all my tool. 
               She rocked like she's riding a mule. 
                    My tool gave a jerk, 
                    Let out a hot squrt, 
               And flooded her subway with jooul. 

               As the sun sank slow in the west, 
               She rose up and off of my chest. 
                    The tool flopped out bent 
                    It was terribly spent-- 
               She absorbed all the best of the rest!