There once was a monk from Siberia
Whose manners were rather inferior
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And now she's a Mother Superior

There was a young lady named Knox
Who kept a pet snake in her box.
It was trained not to hiss
When she sat down to piss,
But would nibble the noggins off cocks. 

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table. 

There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, "Screwing's one thing I do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Lama's are numero uno!"

On May Day the girls of Penzance, 
               Being bored by the lack of romance, 
                    Joined the workers' parade 
                    With this banner displayed: 
               "What the Pants of Penzance Need is Ants."