A modest young girl named Oola
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola 

Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required" 

There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save The Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. 

There once was a baker of Nottingham,
Who in making eclairs would put snot in 'em.
When he ran out of snot,
He would, like as not,
Take his pecker and jack off a shot in 'em.

On the plains of north-central Tibet 
               They've thought of the strangest thing yet: 
                    On the ass of a camel 
                    They pour blue enamel, 
               And bugger the beast while it's wet.