When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

A king sadly said to his queen, 
            "In parts you have grown far from lean." 
                "I don't give a damn, 
                You've always liked ham," 
            She replied, and he gasped, "How obscene!" 

In a conference, lonely Fred posted
His plea for a friendly young co-ed
The response was frenetic
From gals energetic
And he died when his modem exploded 

There was an old Abbot of Khief 
               Who thought the Inpenitent Thief 
                    Had bollocks of brass 
                    And an amethyst ass. 
               He died in this awful belief. 

               Any whore whose door sports a red light 
               Knows a prick when she sees one, all right. 
                    She can tell by a glance 
                    At the drape of men's pants 
               If they're worth taking on for the night.