Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our
   program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and
   brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job.
   We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet! Why, you might
   be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet
   rewarding program?
   Check this out:
   * Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of
   the hottest city in the world!
   * Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
   * See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
   * Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
   Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former
   intern: "I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job
   answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the
   president. ...Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just
   fantastic."- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif. As you can see, being
   a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy
   national issues. Still interested? Fill out this information form and
   send it to the White House at [3]president@whitehouse.gov 
   Name:
   Hometown:
   Sex: F__
   Age:
   Measurements: (required for medical purposes)
   How many beers it takes to get you... ...Giggly: ...Drunk: ...Hot:
   ...To lie to a federal prosecutor:...
   You've always considered the White House: a) a monument to democracy
   b) the place where great leaders meet c) vaguely erotic d) extremely
   erotic
   Hillary Clinton is a(n): a) model wife and mother b) icon of late 20th
   century femininity c) an obstacle d) inappropriate companion for the
   leader of the free world
   You've always wanted to know more about the President's: a) Israeli
   policies b) childhood in Hope, Ark. c) romper room d) "monument to
   democracy"
   My social life as an intern would likely consist of: a) hitting
   Georgetown bars with the other interns b) reading, study c) late
   nights working at the White House d) late nights working the White
   House
   Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
   Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call
   soon, Uncle Sam wants you.
   *Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be
   interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity
   employer.

What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? 

     Pull the pin and throw it back.

One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume 
party.  All the gentry were there and as they arrived the 
doorman would announce what there characters were.

When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie 
Mouse".

As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane" 
and so on as each guest arrived.

Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of 
underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.

"Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman.  Having 
ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the 
local university CS department The doorman asked "How 
shall I announce you?"

The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation"

"I'm very sorry sir", said the doorman in obvious shock, "I 
cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering."

"O.K." said the professor.  "Just say I came in my pants"

A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel.
He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he had. 
The pimp showed him a blonde whore for $50, but she was
far too expensive. 
The pimp then showed him a brunette for $10, but she was
also too expensive. 
Finally the pimp showed him a whore for $1, who happened
to have her legs open ready. 
The man agreed, but the pimp said he must wear a black condom. 
So the man wore the condom and bonked his heart out and had
the time of his life. He enjoyed it so much he went back the
next day for the same $1 whore, and again had to wear a black
condom.
Again the prostitute had her legs open ready. 
When he went the day after, he asked the pimp why he must wear
a black condom? 
The pimp told him "To show respect for the dead." 

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die,
they inflate and float you up to heaven."
Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off
quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into
the kitchen.
"Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"
What do you mean? says his mother.
Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor.  Both her
balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling
"God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"