How big is Bill Clinton's Penis? 

     Not as big as Hillary's 

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the 
buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He 
goes to the emergency room.

The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see 
what I can do."

Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."

The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the 
fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of 
incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made 
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"

Jon says, "Well, shit, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?

It opens on impact.

Q: Why do women bleed and get cramps every month?
A: Because they deserve it.

How can you tell if a FAX was sent by a blonde? 

It has a stamp on it.