After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid
of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She had
been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she
needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near
her age.
She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a male
virgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to an
Australian computer programmer.
After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he had
indeed never been with a woman and they were married. On their
wedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie.
When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken the
bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of the
room. Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, "I
thought you had never been with a woman."
He replied, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a
kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!

Sorry Texans....

A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap.  He returned to
his office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of his
coyotes was caught in a trap.

"How do you know it's one of our coyotes?" asked the Oklahoma game
warden.

"Well," replied the Texas game warden,  "He's already chewed off three
of his legs and he's still trapped!"

How do you know when you have a serious overbite?

When beaver starts tasting like shit. 

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies
are hitting from the ladies tee.

The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready
to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it
another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically
"I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately replies "No, you see that's your problem. You
should have been taking golf lessons instead."

"Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice.  "I
think I'm turning into a man"  then the doctor says,  " Now hold on
little lady  what makes you think that you're turning into a man?"  "
Well" said the woman "I'm starting to grow hair on my chest" and then
the  doctor asked, " Well then, how far down your chest is your hair
growing? " and then she replied,  "All the way down to my dick".