What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

Fur traders.

Why don't Blondes make good cattle herders.
Because they can never keep two calves together.

Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty 
thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run 
naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that.
Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the hell were Nancy 
& Betty wearing?" "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needed 
ironing."

Q: How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups?
A: Tell her she's pregnant!

Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving 
class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute 
emerged, tangled, and he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the 
reserve chute, and it also was tangled. He prayed to his God and looked 
down to the ground below. To his amazement, a woman was coming up with 
equal velocity. "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?" he shouted
to her, as they passed by. The reply: "No... you know anything about 
Coleman stoves?"