Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A: Full.

What do you do after you just raped a 12yr old deaf & dumb girl ?

Break her fingers so she can't tell her mum.

The doctor had just completed his examination of the
gorgeous redhaired beauty.
"I would suggest to you, young lady," began the medic,
as he regained som of his professional dignity,
"that you discontinue some of your running around.
Stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and
above all you will have to start eating properly and
getting to bed early." 
Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added: "Why not
have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you
have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!"

One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he 
was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He 
stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet 
masturbating.
The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew what he was doing in 
there and that he should save it for marriage.
Little Jimmy agreed to this only because it was coming from a priest. 
About a week later the priest ran into Jimmy at the mall and asked him how 
he was doing with his problem.
Jimmy replied "Great father, I've saved a whole quart!" 

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic 
light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. 

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa 
bring that to you?" 

The kid says, "Yeah." 

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on 
that bike." 

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety 
violation ticket. 

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, 

"By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring 
that to you?" 

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." 

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick 
underneath the horse, instead of on top."