("Bird" is an English Term equivalent to "Chick", and "tight" is
   equivalent to "cheap")
   You never would have guessed that, right?
   
   This bloke walks into a bar with an ostrich and cat. They all sit down
   at a table and the man goes to the bar and says, "A pint of Bitter for
   myself, a Gin &Tonic for the ostrich and a Scotch for the cat".
   
   The Barman is a little perplexed but serves the drinks anyway.
   
   Sometime later the ostrich goes to the bar and says, "A G&T for
   myself, a pint of bitter for the guv'nor and a whisky for the cat."
   
   The barman is even more bemused but still serves the drinks.
   
   This goes on all evening with the man and the ostrich alternately
   buying rounds of drinks, but the cat never does. By the end of the
   evening the barman asks the man, "Look, whats the story? I have to
   know, why do you have an ostrich and a cat? And how come the cat never
   buys a round?"
   
   "Well it's quite a story," says the man. "I was walking down the road
   one day when I found a bottle. I uncorked this bottle and Genie came
   out and said, `Oh thank you for releasing me, oh Master, what is your
   heart's desire? Tell me and it shall be yours.'
   
   "So I asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy."
   

What is the definition of an overbite?

When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit. 

   The newlyweds had decided to take Amtrak's "Car Train" to Florida, so
   they would have the mobility of being able to use their own vehicle on
   the honeymoon. They settled into one of the train's upper berths
   together and cuddled. As the nite progressed, the new bride was heard
   to say quite excitedly a number of times, "I just can't believe that
   we're finally married Kenny."
   
   After about the 3rd time in five minutes, a voice came out of the
   dark, "God dammit Kenny !!! Will you please convince her so's we can
   all get some sleep ???"

Q: What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?

A: Hey pal, mind if I cut in?

What is the difference between a Certificate of Deposit and Intercourse?



A Certificate of Deposit has significant penalty for early withdrawl.

Sent by Josh