There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari F-50 and he
was taking it for a cruise. He was stopped at a red light and this little boy on a
mopehead stopped next to him and was at awe over the car. He asked the
guy if he could ake a quick look inside and he agreed. Just as he was getting
out of the car the boy asked the man how fast his car could go and he said.
"oh, around 175-200. Want to see?" Of couse the boy nodded and waited
for the light to turn green. The man took off at a very high rate of speed. As
he was traveling down the road he saw a little light catching up with him and
then flew right past him. 'no! it couldnt be the boy on the mopehead could it?"
He asked to himself. Then the light came flying back and went way behind
him. The guy then ralized that it indeed WAS the boy on the mopehead. Then
the light started to catch up with him again. He slowed down a bit to catch up
with the boy to find out exactly how he got the little bike to go that fast and in
a stunned voice the boy looked at the man and siad.."Would you mind taking
my suspenders off your rear view mirror?" 

Is Windows a Virus?



No, Windows is not a virus.  Here's what viruses (viri?) do:

1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system
   as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay,
   Windows does that, too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable
   programs and systems.  Sigh... Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too
   slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.  Yup, that's with
   Windows, too.

   Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental
   differences:  Viruses are well supported by their authors, are
   running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and
   efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they
   mature.

So, Windows is *not* a virus.

The teacher walked into the classroom to find words like "cunt" and "cock" 
scrawled all over the blackboard. "Children," she said, addressing the 
classroom, "you are much too young to use vile language like that. Now 
we're all going to close our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our 
eyes are closed, I want the little boy or girl who wrote those words on 
the board to tiptoe up and erase them." At the signal, the teacher and the 
children all closed their eyes. Then the teacher counted out loud, very 
slowly. When she reached fifty, she said, "All right. Everybody open their 
eyes." All eyes went to the blackboard. None of the words were erased. But 
below them was the message: "Fuck you, teacher! The Phantom strikes 
again!"

What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? 

Gee, we really do taste like chicken. 

Why do they put strings on tampons?

So you can floss after you eat!