Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an 
hour east of Bakersfield, blonde new to boating was having aproblem.
No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 
22-ft Bayliner to perform.  It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it 
was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power 
she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a 
nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough 
topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The 
engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the 
correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, 
still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

New paint store just opened up by my place, so I decided as any 
red-blooded, sexually repressed young lad to pay it a visit. When I went 
in I saw signs all over advertising the newest color: "Natural Blonde". 
There weren't any samples around, so I asked the clerk to describe it to 
me. He replied, "Natural Blonde? Wonderful new paint: not too bright, but 
spreads easily!"

Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having
a last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their
health. However, to compensate for this, condemned men will
instead be permitted to chew a stick of celery.