You Ought to be in Pictures: More than 50 people responded to an invitation
to a casting call for a Robert DeNiro movie being shot in Boston. The only
problem was, the invitations were sent by police. To people with outstanding
arrest warrants. One woman complained she "took a day off from work" to meet
DeNiro. She was led away in handcuffs instead. "It's so nice to scam people
who are scammers," one detective said. The casting call, sent to 3,800
fugitives, offered more than $200 for two hours of work as extras, plus the
chance of "becoming famous." (UPI) 

   A few years ago my wife started to wear tight jeans.
   I went out and bought a convertible.
   
   Then she bleached her hair.
   I took a lot of multiple vitamin shots.
   
   Just a few months ago, she had a face lift and a "tummy tuck."
   I got an implant.
   
   And that's the way its been for the two of us:
   side by side -- growing young together.

LETTING GO

During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia.  As I
was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher,
was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave.  "No, Daddy,
please don't go!" he kept repeating.

We were beginning to make a scene when my wife, desperate to calm him,
said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza."

Immediately, Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a
calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."

Craig S. Kunishige in Reader's Digest