South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station,
dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk
sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the
person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. 

A young woman was doing some business at Marshall University and
parked in an area clearly marked "no parking."
After taking care of business, she returned to her car to find a
campus security guard writing her a ticket.
"Why are you giving me a ticket?" she asked.
"You're not allowed to park here," the guard said.  "See that sign?
It says 'Fine for Parking Here.'"
"Well," said the violator, "I thought it was a fine place to park."
The guard began to laugh.  The more he thought about it, the harder
he laughed.
He tore up the ticket and waved the woman on her way.

For many years I worked as a police dispatcher. Well, one 
day I got a call from a lady, very upset because a man was 
driving around a Walmart parking lot exposing himself. 
Well, I was very professional and took all the information 
and was starting to hang up when she added how upset she 
was by the whole thing and "besides, if they want to take 
those little things out and play with them, they ought to 
stay home." Needless to say I lost it at that point, 
sputtering out "Yes m'am" and hung up the phone.  

Sent by Laura